H.O.P.P.I.N.S.K.I.P

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Miss Obsess

Welcome to procrastination central 101
Having been in a design rut for a week or so, I've gotten a very rude wake up call.
The sudden realization of the possible reality turned me cold. rightaway.
Using an object of procrastination as an excuse of my obsession, I've tired everyone out with my rants, my antics, me running around the apartment and endless repetitive stories.

Sometime obsession is like concentrated medicine. Take it at one quick shot, feel the tremendous bitterness and feel a whole lot better.

Monday, May 28, 2007

To fly or To flee

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Men cant get enough of me

Men can’t get enough of me.
Men can’t wait to get rid of me.
Men can’t get enough of me.
Men can’t wait to run away from me.
Men can’t get enough of me.
Men can’t wait to make me cry.
Men can’t get enough of me.
Men can’t wait to hold me.
Men can’t get enough of me.
Men can’t wait to ignore me.
Men can’t get enough of me.
Men can’t wait to end my drama.
Men can’t get enough of me.
Men can’t wait to say goodbye to me.
Men can’t get enough of me.
Men can’t wait to be jealous with me.
Men can’t get enough of me.
Men can’t wait to avoid me.
Men can’t get enough of me.
Men can’t love me.
Men can’t get enough of me.
Men can’t be with me.
Men can’t get enough of me.
Men can’t stand me.
Men can’t get enough of me.
Men can’t have me.
Men can’t get enough of me.
Men can’t please me.
Men can’t get enough of me.
Men can’t provide me.
Men can’t get enough of me.
Men can’t amuse me.
Men can’t get enough of me.
Men can’t excite me.
Men can’t get enough of me.
Men can’t satisfy me.
Men can’t get enough of me.
Men can’t be there for me.
Men can’t get enough of me.
Men just can’t help hurting what they can’t have.

Men and Men

It’s palpable these feelings.
Can’t acknowledge it, yet to be able to deny it.
I found joy in little things in my vernacular activities.
Let it be consuming morsels of food, or going about buzzing about my own errands.
On the contrary, I found little happiness in big things.
Let it be being in a new ‘relationship’ or ending an old ‘relationship’.
Perhaps there’s a little secret within myself I will not like to deal myself.
That little evil thing that is sabotaging all the presumably good things going on in my life.
That will put my feet back to the ground, and not fly away with all the nice things men whisper to me.
Men..and their words.
Men..and their sweetness.
Men..and their selves.
Men..as what they are.
Women and their feelings things.
Women and their insecurities.
Women and their feelings things (I can’t emphasize this more).
Is there a point where these two beautiful souls will meet.
And blend. And melt. And be one. And be joyous and be better than what they are individually.
Together, can they ever be beautiful.
I don’t know.
I know what I want in life. Others may confuse me as confused.
I do know. I do acknowledge, but I have yet found one that can give me what I want.
I do want to love. So do very much.
But where? How? When? Whom?
I can’t love selfishness.
I can’t love games.
I can’t love manipulations.
I can’t love being common.
I am special.
You are special.
We are all want to be special.
Men and their words
Men and their meanness
Men and their lies
Men and their other girls
Men and their selves
Women and their little sweetness
Women and their beautiful smiles
Women and their sensitive souls
Is there a point really…where these emotions could meet
And bring the best in each and everyone of us?
Or should I just shoot myself right now and not waste time hoping for the impossible?

Friday, April 06, 2007

it is all relative

Mid sem crit turned out greater than expected.
Over the top infact.
Best of the best.
Happy.

22 hours of dreamless sleep.
Fully rested.
Happy.

Ready to join the social life back.
Everything's bleak.
Accusations flew in the air.
Negative charged air that is.
Punishment for something that can't be changed.
Not so smart people got scrutinized in school.
Not so beautiful people got scrutinized in life.
Hey.. those can't be changed!
None wanna be stupid.
None wanna be ugly.
Beautiful people are accused for ruining the standard.
Smart people are accused for making others look bad.
Hey..those can't be changed either!
None wanna be beautiful and hated.
None wanna be smart and blamed.
Everything's relative.
Get used to it!

Friday, March 30, 2007

Numbing it again

Cut
Heal
Cut again...
almost heal...
cut cut...
bandaid...
CUT!!
bleed...
bleed...
cut...
healing.....
cut...
skin toughens
slice and cut and slice
hasn't healed yet
cut scratch cut cut slice

ENOUGH!
get rid of the cutter! I'm done.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

One for many

One picture for so many moments

Goodbye You, Hello U!

2007 has a bumpy start.
Unwillingness to leave the family back home.
Distress call from the fur invested carpet.
Gigantism developing in my sweet 'lil' kitten.
Relationship on a bumpy buggy road to commisery.
The month of February had never been more dull.

Along come the equally miserable Valentine's day.
Consisting nothing of its true meaning.
Counting on the last few threads of the tearing relationship.
Few words mentioned. Many tears dropped.
Lots of hurting and comforting and hurting and comforting again.
Viscious cycle of the psychological torture between the sadist and the masochist.

Chinese new year came by like a bandaid to a ghastly bleeding wound.
Insignificant nice gesture of nature which helps nothing but to hide the physical ugliness of the still bleeding puss invested wound.

Then a fresh breeze came along
The long haired man with his architecture bullshit
Which amused me like none before
It dried the wound, healing nicely
Friendship blossomed
New experience began

It's easy to forget the past
when the future's bright

It's easy to move on
when the steps taken are light and promising

It's not impossible to forgive and forget
when what you forgiving and forgetting does not matter anymore

To the painful past, I bid goodbye
To my happier future, I'd hold on and cherish you as much as I could.

XxX

Sunday, January 14, 2007

mind

I'm taught to recognise my own mind.
It is something which we could only recognise from realising its activities.
In its original state, our mind is strong and unchangeable. When happiness comes, it is drowned in its influence and it's touched! When it is touched, that's when attachment and love comes about.

Who are we behind our bodies?
And look deep into your conscience and ask yourself : what's behind your conscience?
When we do not understand what's our conscience, just like how one does not understand what's sufferring. How would one knows the causes of sufferring, ignorant of the ending of a sufferring, and does not know the way.
As we are so preoccupied with the reasons why a sufferring come about, we forget how to put that sufferring down.
When we have an itch on the hand, why do we scratch our head?

I was once told to separate my mind and my feeling.
It is to open up our mind and differentiate happiness from sufferring.
Both happiness and sufferring are not our orignal set of mind.
Only when feelings are involved, both happiness and sufferring are born.
With our full conscience, we could acknowledge happiness as happiness and sufferring as sufferring. We acknowldege its presence, but it is 'outside' our conscience. That's it. That way, we may still suffer but we are able to see our minds as our minds and feelings as feelings. We will no longer be attached to our feelings and hold on to it.

We will be free.